If I get enough followers for my new church, I will upgrade my pet invisible aluminum squirrel to platinum.
P.S.
I taught Stephen Colbert everything he knows about Ridiculous.
P.P.S.
I've never met Stephen Colbert.
P.P.P.S.
If I ever met Stephen Colbert, he would immediately bow down and worship my squirrel. Unlike that liberal pansy-snatch, Jon Stuart.
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