Sunday, June 21, 2009

Life in Bemidji

Northern Minnesota is a very strange place. Like much of the midwest, nothing really makes any sense. I'm originally from Texas, and my guess is that peeps from the midwest don't think we make any sense either.

After all, Texas has given the world GWB 41 and 43 (actually, we can thank the great state of Connecticut for both of them fucking transplants), Rick Fairy (brought to us by based in TX, or reality), white guys who think they have dicks the size of black guys (brought to you by Eminem), and oil (brought to you by Saudi Arabia).

My point is that all of the stuff that the rest of the world hates about Texas was imported from foreign states. Yes, that includes the guns, and I happen to like them, but they aren't made in Texas.

It reminds me of when I lived in NYC for a while. The actual people who grew up in NYC are pretty okay, except for the crazies that live on the upper east side. All the real jerkweeds are imported.

The problem with the midwest is boredom, not imports. All the crazy, non-sensical bs is homegrown, home-fertilized, and home-brewed. (though I like the homebrew). I blame the winters here. And the boredom.

But I also blame the people. There is, in fact, internet. There is a library. There is even a University. But once people run out of things to do, they start electing batshit-crazy politicians.

Wait. Texas does that too. Never mind.

My point is no longer that the midwest is screwed up. America is pretty much one giant collective cow-tipping redneck. It's just that some of the ones in the big cities on the coasts are more neurotic than the rest of us.

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