In the Beginning

There was nothing but RIdiculous, the invisible aluminum squirrel. Being a squirrel, Ridiculous had a disproportionately large nutsack, and Ridiculous desired a mate.

But since there was nothing, Ridiculous imagined an enormous acorn because food is usually the first thing a guy thinks about when there's no one around to have sex with. Well food and porn. But Ridiculous had not yet invented porn, so food was the priority.

And lo, the acorn appeared.

And Ridiculous ate it.

And he was fed.

-Book of Squirrel